Terror never wins
Updated: Feb 6, 2019
Day 3 December 5, 2018 Rotator Cuff Repair Surgery
Today is 3 days post-op. There are at least 6 incisions that were needed to repair the rotator cuff and repair the bicep tendon. When my husband took the bandage off at 2:00 this morning per my request, it looked like bullets got the best of me - lol. I actually thought that if the bandage was taken off I'd feel better. Not!
I’ve been cut; skin, muscle and tendons. Apparently, the tendons have been reattached to the bone with anchors. Inflammation is there and any movement of my bicep muscle is felt in a big way. When I walk the rhythm of my steps shoot up to the sensitive area of my shoulder.
It’s night time again and the darkest hours are the longest hours when the pain meds feel like they aren’t working and sleep is interrupted by a migraine that came from the anesthesia.
Psalm 91:5 says, “Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;”
Stay with me here is the lesson...
Ladies, your night time seasons come with terror. However, the scripture says that we don’t have to fear the terror. You will feel the terror but you don’t have to fear it! When the Holy Spirit begins to deal with the issues of heart it feels like He is making many incisions, cutting through tendons that have held us bound to strongholds and bad habits. The pain of sanctification throbs through our soul with every movement...it feels like terror is winning. Terror never wins when you trust God for complete healing through your obedience.
When my night time comes it feels like the hydrocodone, Ketorolac, ibuprofen and phenergan is NOT working!!! When terror shows up at night and arrows show up in the day...you MUST take shelter in prayer, praise and fellowship! You must take shelter in studying the Bible, reading positive literature and meditating on truth. You can’t just sit and do nothing. Terror manifests like Amalek and attacks when you are weak!
Can I be a bit more transparent? When the night comes and my entire household is sound asleep and terror is lurking, the silence in the house is deafening. The pain is strongest at night! I sleep in a reclined position and it feels harder to change positions. I find myself moaning, crying, deep breathing and praying for the light of day to show up! I feel so emotionally weak and I do not do well with feeling weak and being physically vulnerable. I have to fight back! I put Francis Chan in my ears and the passion that comes from his preaching about intimacy with Christ fuels me. My circumstance doesn’t change but my HOPE IS ENLARGED!
Find your hope ladies! Terror comes in the dark lonely places of isolation. Stay connected to the vine! Stay connected to positive people. You may feel the terror but you don't have to fear it.