Updated: Jan 29, 2019
Day 2 - December 4, 2018 Rotator Cuff Repair Recovery
I am one day post op. This position of around the clock pain meds and sleeping in a reclined position ain't my idea of a cup of tea but it is the only way I can rest. I tried to lay down and the pressure caused so much pain I thought I was going to throw up. My belly is bloated because narcotics cause constipation. I sent my husband out to get some Dulcolax and it is not working fast enough. I look like I'm pregnant, I am not burning any calories and that means weight gain is inevitable! I promise the pain medication is making me hungry. Therefore, I'm eating up er'thang and then falling asleep. It's like I have the munchies. This is going to be interesting. My behavior on pain meds is not impressive. They make me fall asleep mid-sentence, mid-text, mid-toileting, mid-chewing. I don't like it. I feel like I have lost control. The pain does not totally go away while on the meds either but being without them is not an option.
Even while in pain and very groggy, I’ve been meditating on David. I have been listening to audio meditations on YouTube on how David cried out to God while experiencing his most uncomfortable life circumstances. David was in emotional turmoil at times. Scared. He felt helpless. He felt a lot of negative emotions. Read Psalm 13. Guess what ladies? It’s OK to be in pain. It is okay to feel physical, emotional and mental pain. You know what I have come to the realization of while recovering from rotator cuff surgery? Humans don’t like to talk about pain. Some Christians don't even want to talk about it. People have asked how I am doing out of genuine love and concern and when I told them the truth, I got answers like...
“It’ll be over soon.”
“God’s in control.”
“Praying for ya.”
"I speak healing over your life."
I’m like...just stop it!!! It won’t be over soon. The protocol for this journey says 12 weeks at a minimum. I had a frozen shoulder, so it is likely to be longer. Yes, I know that God can work a miracle. Yes, God is in control, we know that and thanks for the prayers! However, it would have really been nice for more than two or three people to stop long enough to acknowledge the reality. In life how do we know the length of someone’s storm? We don’t! Sometimes in life, the storm ain’t passin’ today. It ain’t well today. It doesn’t feel well today! You are in the storm today and real emotions come along with all of it. Acknowledge and feel. You are human.
Ladies, we gotta learn to STOP patching things up. Let people tell you what they are experiencing. Don’t try to throw an exhortation out there prematurely. Give people a safe place to express their pain WITHOUT throwing some Christian lingo on it. Listen first, then pray. Listen to their soul speak and then affirm. I read a quote by a man named David Whyte. He said, "A real conversation always contains an invitation. You are inviting another person to reveal himself or herself to who they are or what they want." The revelation for me is that most seasoned Christians did not want to have a real conversation with me. They were simply being kind. I get it. However, I believe the overall picture is that most do not know how to give people permission to hurt.
It’s ok to feel pain ladies. It’s for our good! #Gethsemane It’s ok to ask people about their pain and then let them tell you about the raw emotion! David did it. Jesus did it. It is ok for you to do it too. This walk-through life is not painless. That’s how some people “want” to go through life, but it is not a reality. Some people don’t want to feel discomfort. They don't want to suffer long. They don't want the crushing, purging, and pruning. They won't get professional counseling, and what is worse is that the word of faith movement has exasperated this thing of “emotional stuffing.” The outcome? Fake. They become counterfeits of the faith. Folk don’t want to be told...
“Oh it’s gonna hurt!”
“You are gonna feel this!”
“You are gonna be inconvenienced!”
“You are gonna feel frustrated!”
“You may feel lonely."
When the truth of the reality of pain comes, what are you going to do with it? I encourage you to embrace the process of whatever kind of healing you need. I must do the same as I feel the pain in my shoulder that I cannot escape from.